Literary Girl's Asperations

A Place To View My Writings.

Slave To Myself

I want to cry
But know I can’t
My eyes are clear
But my heart aches

I want to scream
But there’s no sound
My throat is burning
But I’m still silent

I want to give up
But I just can’t
I’m not allowed to
I’m a slave to myself

Love shouldn’t work
When there’s hate
But they live together
And it confuses me

If I could
I certainly would
Lose my mind—
But I can’t

I’m a human
With lots of feeling
But not always—
I can be heartless

But I just can’t
Help being this way
I can’t do anything
I’m a slave to myself


Pain Of The Heart

My heart is crushed
There are no words in the world
To describe all the pain
That you’ve just unfurled

I was denied yet once again
But it hurts like it’s the first
I was already in so much pain
And I know I’m at my worst

My heart feels toyed with
And my life is full of lies
What is the point to life
If love is what dies?

Saying you’ll be there for me
Means nothing anymore
How am I supposed to talk to you
When you’ve struck me at the core

I’m not going to be okay
And what am I supposed to understand?
The fact you don’t like me
And your words feel like sand?

And if I should ever cry
The tears will be the pain
It’ll be my heart weeping
From everything it has to contain

I feel sadness and hatred
And I can’t say when it’ll end
But I know for sure now
That I hate the word
“Friend”


Nothing I Can Do

I tried so hard
But I failed
Nothing I will ever do
Will be able to heal
The broken shards inside

Every day that I fight
It seems to break me more
If I keep on going
There will be nothing of me left
I’d be nothing at all

Fallen tears
Lost memories
Unending pain
All the wasted years
Can never be taken back

I’ve wasted my time
On unworthy people
Being stabbed in the back
Being blames continuously
Forgotten without a second glance

I’m not given a final chance
My chance was over
A long time ago it seems
Wasted on stupidity and wanting
Something that won’t work that way

I love you
But you left me all alone
You left without a good-bye
Noe I’m paying the price
For what I’ve done… To you

I’m sorry
There’s not much else I can do
I can’t say anything else
Not ever to you
I gave you a promise

But know I’ll never forget you
Or the things we have been through
You were there for me
I won’t ever forget
The things you’ve done

I didn’t mean no harm
But not meaning to
Doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen
And I’ve proven
That the worst can occur

I hope that you’re okay
With all of these problems
Friends tend to care
No matter what happens
And I’ve shown the love inside

My pain comes down
Like waterfalls
But there’s nothing I can do
To fully put up a wall to stop the flow
My efforts will always have cracks

Just leave me alone
And live your life to the fullest
Forget about me at least
You want to ignore me then…
Forget I ever existed

It’ll help you
And it could help me
Maybe forgetting everything would be
The very best to do now
Our paths crossed… And it didn’t work

Please forgive me truly
For this is the hardest to say
That I’m saying good-bye
For the final time
And there’s nothing I can do

Nothing I can do to change the times
Nothing to make it right…


I Will

I wish you knew what I am
Going through….
You don’t know
How much I really need you….

Inside, I cannot breathe
It’s seems your slowly suffocating me
Finally, it cannot wait,
This sadness turns to hate
(Chorus)
Why do I keep coming back?
Will I ever get my mind on track?
Will I ever stop feeling upset?
Why do I think when you forget?

You never even seem mad,
Never seem sad,
It is hard to believe that you were all I had.
I guess some things I’ll never understand….

Maybe it’s better forgetting everything,
Either way our friendship is ending.
You never understood the message I was trying to send,
I thought you were my best friend?
(Chorus)
So why do I keep coming back?
Even when my soul attacks?
Maybe my heart will heal yet.
Maybe I will forget.

People tell me not to fret,
You don’t think I can handle this?
You want to make a bet?
I will climb my way out of this dark abyss.

I will be helpless no more.
I will let my feelings out the door.
There will be no wasted tears,
I finally noticed the darkness has cleared….
(Chorus)
So I won’t be ever coming back.
My mind is back on track.
I’ve stopped feeling upset.
And I did forget.


I Don’t, I Won’t

Depressing state
Say good-bye
It’s never too late
(To make that change)

Love is going to fill
The empty parts of me
It’s filling the empty parts of me
(It’s going to help me)

I know people love me
And I’m going to use it
I’m definitely using it
It’s making me see
(That I’ve missed so much)

A crossing path
Sometimes
Maybe all the time
It’s not going to last
(I just have to get through it)

But it’s over now
It kind of didn’t matter
It never mattered
I’m keeping my vow
(Nothing is going to make me lie)

So I’m holding on
I don’t want to let go
I won’t let myself go
My sadness will be gone
(Happiness will forever fill me)

I’m at a new age
I don’t want to be sad
I won’t be sad
I’m writing a brand new page
(Written in words of happiness)

I could’ve done this before
I could have fixed it earlier
I wanted to fix it earlier
I’m finally letting my spirit soar
(It’s not bolted to the ground anymore)

It took too much to change
But I’ve done it now
I’ve finally done it
It’s always been in my range
(It wasn’t that I couldn’t)

I’m not going back
Dang, I’m going to stay this way
I will stay this way
I’ve healed the crack
(Finally)


Confused

I feel confused
So what do I do?
You said you liked me
And I like you too

But now it seems I’m nothing
Compared to the rest of your friends
I’ve given up so much already
And I’m scared this is how it ends

It hurts so much;
Like you’re a knife
About to end this hellhole
People call “life”

Something has changed
I just don’t know what
Maybe it’s only me
And I’m keeping my feelings shut

I’m so confused
What do I do?
I should let you go
But my dream is you


A War And Fantasies

When we talk it’s not enough
I want you here and beside me
Someone warned me to be careful
But I thought we were meant to be

Should I have done this to myself?
Should I have done this to you?
Do I really want to take it all back?
Will somebody please give me a clue?

I want you to show me your love
But how can you from over there?
Where you’re always away from me
Can we actually be called a perfect pair?

I’m trying to do everything I can
And I try to believe you are too
But despair brings me down
And I find myself thinking about you

I think about losing you forever
About the future I could be letting go
And I want to let my tears out
I want to scream but can’t let it show

I don’t want to ever lose you
But neither do I want to hurt a soul
Sometimes I feel like I should choose
That it’d be better with an empty hole

I don’t feel like I’m doing enough
Or being the person you’d love to see
I feel I’m letting you down more
By being the person I don’t like to be

I don’t think it will work
But then I really want it to
I want our love to grow
But I want to stop before I hurt you

I know my brain is filled with fantasies
And I look there very often for answers
Complicated thoughts run through my head
Like fast, grotesque, and exotic dancers

I want to love you and know you love me too
But I’m at war with myself and I’m afraid I’ll lose
What could I do now that would actually help?
It makes me confused—I don’t know what to do!

But I know I love you and like my fantasies,
I want to be the lucky one to run off with you
And for you to be my prince
Writing a happy ever after that’s new


Another Person

You are my best friend,
Now you aren’t,
Can’t you choose,
And just be smart?

You’re an angel one day,
A devil the other,
Will you decide to stay,
Or will you go?

You’re like the summer,
Then the winter,
When you do this,
You just look dumber.
(Chorus)
Come on, I can’t take it anymore.
Decide which person you like more.
If you like her then leave me be.
If you don’t then show me______

Now you’re here,
Now you’re not,
Shall I fear?
Or should I not?

You promise,
And betray,
You’re then honest,
Come on, just make up your mind OK?
(Chorus)
Come on, I can’t take it anymore.
Decide which person you like more.
If you like her then leave me be.
If you don’t then show me______

You made me smile,
Then cry,
You promised you wouldn’t say___ goodbye…


Can You

Something inside of me sparks like a flame
Every time I hear someone say your name

How can you leave me behind so effortlessly?
When I stood by your side indefinitely?

Can you feel the pain?
And the unending love I contain?
Or do you not care
And know I’m alone in my despair?


Deep Brown Eyes

I look into your deep brown eyes
And I start wishing you were mine
But I hope it’s not too obvious
And you can’t read me like a sign

I’ve known you for what seems like forever
So my love for you has been long
But you don’t feel the same at all
And I have no choice but to stay strong

Whenever I’m around you
I’d forget about my pain
Your laughter makes me smile
And I know we have much to gain

So I’ll try and keep it hidden
And be there if you need me
Whether or not you ever will
I’ll just have to wait and see

But no matter what you choose
I’ll still be thinking about you
Hoping that everything’s okay
And that you’re thinking of me too